and this is what happened…

Category Archives: Sextrology

I’ve always been fascinated by the zodiac and how it correlates with one’s personality, but it’s not something that I put a ton of stock in when it comes to dating. Though I think there’s some truth to who you are based upon your sign, I’m not the type to check my horoscope every day and only make decisions based upon a generalized page ripped out from the twinkling stars above.

But, I will be the first to buy any book dedicated solely to breaking down each sign by sex and then focusing on, well, sex. So a couple of years ago I stumbled across “Sextrology: The Astrology of Sex and the Sexes” by Starsky and Cox. I’m in love with this book and I will 100% admit that anyone I’ve dated since owning it has sparked me thumbing through the numerous pages of detail in the infancy of us knowing each other. Giggle. Now that the entire world has direct access to that little girly fun-fact, I might as well go full disclosure.

I use this book just to get a general run-down of the person’s personality, what their hang ups and strengths are according to the authors, and of course how the authors claim each person is going to be in bed. But then I forget about what I read a few days later and only re-visit it after we’ve broken up and I go searching for the writing on the wall.

If you are like me and get all giddy with personality, why you are the way you are smut, then you should really check this book out. Each sign is broken down by male and female and then it gives about 20 pages of awesomeness to explain what to expect from a relationship with any particular person. It also breaks the sexual tid-bits down by straight and gay preferences, which I think is totally cool. I’m all about non-discrimination. Woot-woot.

I’m using the book as a basis  to describe some of the relationships I’ve been in. Not only do I think it will be entertaining to see how close the book got to our compatability, but also to make us all think about what really makes us, us and if maybe there just might be some magical trickery in all those constellations up there.

Enter subject 1: Myself. I am an Aquarius (January 21 – February 19). I think I encompass an Aquarius fully and completely, maybe even more so than most people. That of course is my biased opinion because I don’t spend my free time analyzing everyone else’s sign and have spent countless hours reading the write-up of Starsky and Cox on little ol’ me…And now that I’ve spent even more time doing so for the sake of the blog and my writing aspirations, I guess I’m morphing into an advocate for things that err on the side of zodiac and how they can potentially explain relationships successes and woes.

According to the authors the Aquarius Woman is “The vision and the sign of Sexual Revelation”. Neat-o.

Breakdown:

“She’s an inspiration. Her natural disposition is to see the joy in every situation and she’s able to make even the dreariest of events seem like fun.” – Agree 100%. It’s my motto to be present in every moment and not waste your breath on anything unhappy. I’m sure lots of people have wanted to smack me in the face or roll a skating board my way as I’m walking down the street, but oh well. I can’t help but see the good in everything. However, that joy comes from experiencing a TON of really not so joyful things and being in a place in life that I’m thankful for the time I am given.

“To her the world is painfully beautiful and she greets every day with an unscripted childlike awe, open to what cheery serendipity might cross her path as she whistles through her routine.” – Guilty. I’m a sucker for signs and the universe aligning things as to create an almost personalized flashing light just for me. I open my eyes to a dreary, sullen Monday and I can’t help but see it in a really warm and awesome light. Because I woke up. I was granted one more day to live and breathe and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into. What a great feeling knowing that everything starts over in the morning. Some people say you have only one life to live or you only live once. Nah, everyday is a new chance to make it right, make it great and make your mark. 

“She cares little for worldly trends — that proverbial square peg who can’t be fit to social convention.” – Ok, I’m still trying to learn how to fucking dougie. But other than that and my love of Oreos, I would say the authors statement is pretty dead-on.

“She can be the quintessential woman who loves too much. Alternatively, one wonders if she loves enough, so dispassionate are her relationships.” – Damn, call out fall out. But this is a very interesting assumption and one that I think has some truth. Maybe not 100%, but somewhat accurate.

“Above all, the female Waterbearer is in the business of renewal, and she’s in for life.” – DUH. There’s no other option. Everyday you can be better. You can also be better than you were 5 minutes ago. 

“She is ready to pour out her divine acumen democratically, to whomever she meets, because she believes that everybody deserves to experience heaven here on earth.” – This is why almost every one of my first dates have gone so fucking well. I think it may be a curse.

“She’s beyond making judgements, and best of all, she doesn’t try herself with expectations of perfection.  Aquarius takes herself as she is and she expects others to do likewise.” – Yep, yep and yep. If you wanna judge everyone else harshly, ESPECIALLY yourself, and you can’t practice self-love, you and I probably are not close. Or if you are lucky enough to be close with me and practice any form of self-loathing, you are one special mother fucker.

“Aquarius women are unplugged personalities.  What you see if what you get.” – Hmmmm…I think on occasion this is true. But I recently had a semi-love interest tell me that I am guarded and jaded. I just think it depends on the person. I don’t trust easy and you need to earn it if we are talking about me getting my emotions involved. So, sometimes that requires me to hold back a lot more than I should. 

“She is a low maintenance mate whose idea to the perfect evening would sooner entail pizza and beer than caviar and champagne.” – Absolutely. If you surprise me with my favorite pizza, Blue Moon and us spending time together listening to music and talking, you’ve got the ingredients of a fool proof courting me list. But I do have a slight addiction to Champagne. Only in un-stuffy environments. Like the floor of my closet, in a bathrobe, drinking it from a coffee mug. 

“She simply goes bonkers for a brainiac with the body of a sexy beast.” – Noooooope. Been there done that. Extremely intelligent men annoy the shit out of me. Extremely intriguing, colorful men on the other hand do not annoy the shit out of me. In my experience, a genius with a hot body = someone who will not have time for me and will be unable to connect with me emotionally and on my unique level. You ‘ll end up looking at me like some crazed, new age lunatic and I look at you like a conceited, arrogant pretty boy who cannot push my buttons. 

Thus begins me giving you the rundown of the signs I’ve dated…

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