I read somewhere once that where your mind goes when it wanders is exactly where you should be. Maybe because your subconscious is the gatekeeper of all truths in your soul? I agree with that statement, well, both actually. Lately, my subconscious is whistle-blowing me like a motherfucker…
I want to confess something to you. I’ve only finished probably 10 books in my entire life…but I’ve read hundreds. I think there’s a simple answer for it. I got ADDICTED to Goose-bump books when I was younger. Like so addicted that I would stay up all hours of the night, huddled under a blanket, with a flashlight, in my room, on a school-night and I would be enthralled, scared and all sorts of wonderment filled my revved up little brain. My father couldn’t understand why I was so tired in the morning and why he literally had to throw water on me to wake me up.
I couldn’t help it. Seriously, my entire 5th and 6th grade years I spent in a world of creation. In my mind, I would live out what I was reading on the page and then if I didn’t like what I was imagining, all I would have to do is go to another page and I could re-create whatever I wanted. I got so involved in these stories that I started applying them to everyday life when I wasn’t reading. It’s like they permeated and stained my brain. And then one night I was reading a story, I thought about my sick next door neighbor being in the story and then next thing I know, there’s an ambulance outside her house and she died. Wanna know what I did? Never read a damn Goose-bump book again.
I seriously believe those books are the reason that I find it so damn difficult to finish any other book. There’s a catch though. The books I don’t like, I breeze through, get to the last page, slam it down and shout, “WTF, that was terrible!”. Why? Well, when I love a book, I can’t get enough of it, and when I know I’m getting to the end, I stop. I don’t want it to end, I just want it to keep going. Because it turns my brain on like nothing else. I feel if I don’t finish it, the thoughts will never end, and my brain will always stay in that turned on mode.
Or maybe I just like being teased and knowing that there’s something waiting in my kindle for me to nerd out over is just sweet, blissful anticipation. Who knows, I’m just fucking weird.