How many times have you heard “I don’t care what other people think” or “You shouldn’t care what other people think” or how about “Fuck you, I could care less what you think about me”? I doubt if there is a single person reading this that has lacked hearing some version of that phrase.
Those words are more true than anyone will ever know, especially in the realm of relationships. People in our life, whether it be a family member, a friend or a colleague tend to feel the need to tell you how to live your life. Most times, it comes out of a place of love because that person genuinely cares about you, at least that’s what we all try to tell ourselves when someone is “putting in their two cents” or we’re handing out pennies with the justification of “I just want the best for you”. However, with that so-called love and “watching your back mentality”, “wanting the best for you” just equates to “I’m scared shitless and am projecting that fear onto you, because telling you what’s comfortable for my life and what I think is best for you and what I would do is input based upon my own insecurities and lack of control.”
I have learned that the people who really see you, “get you” and “want the best for you” are the people who trust you enough to do what you need to do. They believe in you so much, and love you so much that they allow you the space to be yourself. Your way of going about life is completely different from their way of going about life. Your emotions, desires and everyday way of living life is so unique to you that even the person who thinks they know you better than you know yourself, could never experience how you feel or decide what’s best for you. YOU are the only one that knows that. And YOU make your choices on how you feel at any given moment. Those are your actions and your path.
So what if you make a so-called “mistake”? I have touched on this briefly, but mistakes don’t exist. Situations that turn out differently than you thought occur, and these situations teach you about what you do and don’t want in life. They inevitably bring you closer to a desire and teach you valuable lessons. You decide if you either want to learn the lesson and look at the situation as something that tested you, challenged you and made you stronger or if you want to look at it negatively and prevent you from changing something.
Everyday we are faced with the opportunity to be better than we were yesterday. Adversity, stress and drama exist to rise above and transform. Our personal relationships are just one vehicle those opportunities present themselves. The people and situations that are in our life right now were no accident. They are there to serve a much bigger purpose in your life than you could ever imagine.
So my advice, the more you allow the people in your life to live as authentically and free from your personal opinion, and the more others allow the same from you, the better and more fulfilling both of your lives are going to be.
When it comes to your happiness, never get a second opinion. You and only you will always be the one to consult and you’ll know if you are on the right path based on how you feel. So pay attention and look within instead of out.