Earlier this week I randomly thought about getting a button that said “Date me” that I could wear to a bar. The reasoning behind that? Well, on more than one occasion I have been told, “You are too intimidating to approach”, “You’re attractive, say whatever you want and have bigger balls than most guys. That confuses us, so we do nothing”” and my favorite, “I can’t tell if you like chicks or dudes from that haircut…” Fair enough. At least you’re not confusing me for a little boy; Thanks, Scottsdale.
Oddly enough, I was having a text conversation with my BFF this morning and she threw in that I should get some “hello my name is” stickers, try em’ out and see how they work. I thought it was absolutely genius. So of course, in my research driven, covering all bases format, I took to the polls. I sent out some text messages aimed at my male friends and asked “If you saw a really attractive chick that had a hello my name is sticker on, with her name, and the words “ask me on a date”, would you approach her?” Furthermore, I wanted to know if they did choose to approach her, if it would be based on the intent of solely getting laid.
A friend of mine pointed out once in a heated argument that the way men play the game is based upon age and demographics, hence the whole basis for this little experiment: I wanted to prove/disprove his theory.
Here’s the rundown (With ages in parenthesis):
1. “Yes. Guys don’t like a lot of mystery that comes with approaching women. A lot of us are insecure, and don’t know if you have a boyfriend, husband, etc. (30s)
2. “Probably not. I’d probably wonder why she’s having such a hard time finding dates that she feels the need to advertise.” (31)
3.”Sounds like a ho fo sho. Girls with class and confidence don’t need to attract a good guy. All they will get are the guys that are looking for a piece.” (28)
4. “Am I single? I think I would have more fun with it if in this hypothetical situation if I wasn’t single. I would probably approach her just to pick her brain at what piqued my curiosity, knowing in the back of my mind that I’m in a relationship so there’s no connection. I most likely wouldn’t approach her if I was single. Too obvious. Looking for attention. Probably not the kind of person I would gel with on a first date.” (31)
5. “Probably, only because the ice is already broken in a sense. You can count on one hand how many times I’ve actually gone up to a woman and broken the ice.” (33)
6. “Ha. yes, probably. Are you getting desperate?” (28)
7. “Yuuuuuup. I’d see it as confidence and an ice breaker. But I’d wanna get laid. We’re selective though; Fatties are NOT allowed. I like what I like: hot people.” (34)
8. “To be honest, I’m such a people person I’d probably strike up a conversation no matter the situation but I would definitely say the name tag would be intriguing.” (29)
9. “Yeah, of course – that is if I found her attractive. I see it as brave and a game changer. Evaluation.” (35)
Now, do you think I would go through the trouble of taking this poll if I wasn’t hell-bent on doing the research? Exactly. So armed with my notepad, pen and “hello my name is” sticker, I met my girlfriend for a drink at one of my favorite little wine spots. She added the perfect topper. Blonde and big boobs. I got way more analysis criteria than I bargained for. I’ve learned that if I take a friend with me of equal attractiveness, the answers are a bit more unbiased. Calculated distraction, FTW!
I sat down at the bar and Brandon, the extremely friendly bartender I’ve met before, tried to sell me on a chardonnay blend. Ehhhhh, too dry for almost winter. So I went with a Moscato. Then I started chit chatting with tall dude on my left. I asked him the same question I posed the boys earlier via and text and he said “I’d probably laugh a little and then ask my friend which one of us was going to come over and talk to her. I’d find it funny and quirky and definitely would want to know what was behind it.”
Shortly after that comment, I whipped out the name tag for me and my pretty sidekick and rocked that name tag like it was my job. And like my name was Mercedes . Then his friend took the spotlight and said, “You’re obviously trying to get attention and know just the type you’re looking for. I’m exactly the guy that you are looking for.” Thus began the night I interviewed the dude that still wants to bang his ex and the Italian who thinks “men have dumb bodies.” Or a “10 year maturational difference”…however you wanna slice it. But you’ll have to keep an eye out for that post…
In the meantime, I think good ol’ Scottsdale was on to something when he called me out on thinking everything is a game when it comes to dating. Based on the trial run of my new-found ice-breaker (name tag), men over 30 think differently and are not afraid to talk to a very out-spoken woman with a name tag and sharp wit. However, I also was interrogating them and they really had no choice but to answer my questions, so it may be a bit biased. But, this was just one night and two men at a bar. I’ve got all the time in the world to uncover the cold hard facts.
Oh by the way, thanks for the champagne, Italian. I’m glad you dig the name tag. You know, the one that says, “Hello my name is Mercedes, not Hello Kitty”.